We’re amidst an important discussion here, wherein Draupati and Satyabhama are interacting with each other and Satyabhama is asking Draupati a few questions pertaining to the “Pathivrata Dharma”. The very first question she asked itself created a storm and Draupati gives a very important reply here – She explains how behaviour and character of a wife is very important to make the husband happy. The wife should ensure that there are no trust issues arising in between the couple. Of course, given the present day context, this is not only applicable for the wife, but also for the husband. Loyalty towards the relationship in all aspects are important for a long-lasting happiness together. Of course, I’m sure that all of us would be very careful to take care of the fidelity / infidelity part of trust here, but the problem comes when there are unnecessary interventions from the family members into the personal affairs of the couple. The problem complicates when the wife’s family members are very intrusive with their daughter’s affairs post marriage. Even if there is an intrusiveness from the wife’s family members, it should be at a transparent level with the husband’s family members as well. The problem comes when the wife’s parents are overprotective of their daughter and do certain things without the knowledge of the husband or the in-laws! This creates unwanted doubts and rifts in the family, which would ultimately lead to trust issues between the husband and the wife. If any important decision is to be taken at home, it should always be in consultation between the husband and wife. The wife should not take decisions without the knowledge of the husband, and vice versa. Thus, in this way, adequate care should be taken by all of us, so as to ensure such nasty things do not happen in our families.
Moreover, Draupati adds one more important point here. She says to Sathyabhama thus, “Oh Sathyabhama! If a family and a relationship has to reign well without any problem, there should be complete transparency at home! The wife should know what the husband is doing, and in turn, the husband should also know what the wife is doing. I’m able to make my husbands happy because I do not hide anything from any of them! Neither, I do not talk with any intention to hide something from them! If things are transparent within the husband and the wife, no problems would arise! The problems come only when the wife does something without the husband’s knowledge and in turn gets caught red-handed!”
Now this is an extremely important point that Draupati is stressing upon here – Especially this is applicable to modern-day families, at a time when both the husband and the wife are working. Gone are those days when women were happy and content being housewives and taking care of the family full time. Now, women have also started to work at various levels in various organizations, which is of course a welcome change! Women should work, but at the same time, there should be a balance. Especially when it comes to financial matters, spending quality time with the family, ensuring that the family is well taken care of, etc., the role of a woman matters a lot. Just because a woman is working, it doesn’t mean that she would keep financial affairs of hers’ secretive from the husband’s knowledge. In turn, the husband should also be transparent to his wife with regards to what he is earning and what he is saving. If this transparency is not there within the couple, things are going to get very difficult and relationships tend to collapse.
Moreover, nowadays there is an alarming trend – Just because the wife is a working woman, she wouldn’t look after the family in any way! The husband’s parents would be branded as “extra baggage” and would be sent to old-age homes, at a time when they have to be taken care of with a lot of love and affection! If this is at one level, what is even more alarming today is that this concept of treating the in-laws as “extra baggage” is fueled by none other than the wife’s parents! Just because their daughter shouldn’t strain herself too much, and to “bring down” her workload, her parents would candidly keep guiding her secretly to somehow avoid and chase away the in-laws from the home, or, to an extent that the in-laws should never ever enter into the home where she resides with her husband! This is how the “nuclear family” concept is being thrusted upon and imposed by the parents of the wife at various stages! Nowadays, this concept starts even during the day of the marriage itself!
Now, readers should think here – Are we easing the life of our daughter by doing such things, or, are we creating a rift within a family for our selfish reasons? On the pretext of “doing good” to our daughters, aren’t we messing up her life completely? Let us think on these lines today, and we shall wait till the next episode to continue witnessing what Draupati has to say to Sathyabhama further! Stay tuned! 🙂
The Indian Dharma 