Episode # 136 – How do illicit relationships ruin people’s lives? A real-life problem!!!

Little Krishna

In the previous episode, we had witnessed the continuation of the discussion on who are those people entitled to enter into the “Naraka Lokha”. In fact, there are different categories of sins and people who get entangled into any of these categories, will enter into the corresponding categories of “Naraka Lokha”. In that way, we’ve discussed various categories so far, including those who’re trying to abduct another person’s property, those who’re trying to rejoice over other people’s problems and poverty, those who’re ill-treating and killing animals for no fault of theirs, those who’re consuming more than what they consume, those who’re greedy and trying to accumulate more money or property than what is required, etc. Finally in yesterday’s episode, we have witnessed an important category of sins wherein if a person goes behind the wife of another person in the form of an illicit relationship, to satisfy physical pleasures, would get the worst possible place in the “Naraka Lokha”. Sage Sukhaachaarya follows up this point by explaining the punishment that would be meted out to such people who go behind other women for satisfying their physical pleasures. He explains that, such people would be pushed into a place wherein there would be an idol of a beautiful woman, burning in a hot pot of oil. Yama-Dharma-Raja would push us to hug this hot burning idol and by doing so, he would inflict severe burns to our body! This is where, we need to be extremely careful and, in this regard,, we commenced an important discussion yesterday as to why should we maintain a safe distance from people of the other gender. Of course, this applies to both men and women – If we are men, we need to careful of our contacts with women and vice versa.

We concluded yesterday’s episode with a series of questions thus: If we work in an organizational setup, we might have to interact with fellow colleagues and employees who might be married and of the opposite gender! How do we refrain from interacting with them? How can we distance ourselves like this, for no reason? Isn’t it trivial for us do so? Doesn’t this sort of a “rule” kill our communication ability and employability in the long run? Now let us look at the answers for these questions as we move on with the discussion. Of course, yes! These are very legitimate questions and is of great importance in the present day! When we work in an organization, we are bound to come across people from the opposite gender and invariably we would have to work with them to fulfill the organizational requirements. Of course, it might not be possible to stay away from people of the opposite gender. But here comes the aspect of “self-control”. We must interact with people of our opposite gender, but at the same time, we should ensure that the interaction is well within permissible limits. In other words, the interaction should only be at a “professional level” and never should it transcend into the personal space.

At first, it might sound very easy for us to understand, but when it comes to practicality, it becomes difficult to implement. In fact, this is where many people get into problems. The common thing that happens in day-to-day life is that, we might (for some reason or the other) have a bitter fight with our spouse at home and would enter into the office with the same bad mood! Just because we are not in a peaceful personal space to perform the day’s tasks at office, we tend to show off and vent out our frustration to someone. In that way, psychologically, we would require someone to share our feelings, emotions, etc. If we happen to meet someone in our workplace from the opposite gender, and if he or she tries to understand our feelings and emotions in a better way than our spouse at home, we tend to go along with that person and open up to him or her about all what we have in mind! Eventually this would become a routine affair and slowly we would start finding a “good solace” outside the four walls of our home. Eventually thus, the “trust” with the “new person” would start building up and at one stage, we would start getting attached to this person, even more than our husband or wife at home. Eventually thus, we would start sharing our “personal secrets” too, with this “new friend” of ours! Eventually thus, we would start getting into a relationship with this person and this would start initially as a “secret” one! We would slowly be induced into going after this person in an illicit way. As this “new relationship” outside of our house starts to prosper over a period of time, we would slowly lose interest on our spouse and children and would tend to spend more time and energy with the “newly found pleasures” of our life!

This is the influx point where the rupture would start at home! Our spouse would start complaining that we’re not giving importance to him or her anymore and would start monitoring our daily activities closely, which otherwise wouldn’t happen. Eventually if our spouse comes to know of our “newly blossomed relationship” with a colleague at our workplace, what would ultimately happen to our married life? Won’t it come to an end drastically? Won’t we end up messing our family life completely? This is what happens if we are breaching our limits of interaction with our colleagues of opposite gender from a professional to a personal level. This is a simple psychological chain of events that are bound to happen if we get dangerously close to colleagues of the opposite gender at our workplace. Of course, I’m not saying that this chain would hold true every time, but chances are high that we might get entangled into such a dangerous chain of events.

This is where we need to be extremely careful thus. The underlying message from this whole discussion is that, whatever problems we might have with our spouse, we should make it a point that we keep it strictly within the four walls of our house. At any instance, we should make sure, not to open up with our personal problems to a “stranger” or a “third person”, at our workplace or neighborhood or wherever! If someone tries to move with us “very closely”, it is better to maintain a safe distance from that person and shouldn’t get carried away with the “closeness” and “warmth” that the person might try to provide. Thus, to answer the question, we should make sure that we interact equally with all our colleagues at work, but should make sure that we do so, only within professional limits. Never should the interaction transcend into a personal level, wherein we would end up sharing our personal space with a “third person” apart from our spouse at home.

So for today, let us ponder upon this important aspect of life and let us wait till the next episode to move on with the next point of discussion. Stay tuned! 😊




Published by Dr. Jeayaram

Holds a PhD in Management Psychology from Universite Paris Saclay, Paris, France. Also an Asst. Professor of Human Resources management at Bharatidhasan Institute of Management (BIM) Trichy, India A professional South Indian classical musician (singer) performing concerts. Through this blog, I'm trying to bring out the richness of Indian culture & values and I request your support and feedbacks in making this humble effort a success!!

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