Episode # 82 – Why shouldn’t we react to a person hurling abuses at us? Sage Kapilaachaarya’s interesting answer!!!


In the previous episode, we had commenced an extremely important discussion on Sage Kapilaachaarya’s accord on what are the significant and visible characteristics of those people who have absolute control over their mind. Indeed, as ardent followers of our Sanaathana Dharma and as regular readers of this blog series, it is upto each and every one of us to do a “reality check” upon ourselves, to understand where do we stand. As mentioned yesterday, Sage Kapilaachaarya lists down ten such characteristics, of which we’ve witnessed two of them in the previous episode. As we gradually look into the remaining eight of them, we shall clearly come to know our status today. This would give us a picture of ourselves as to where we stand with respect to our spiritual development and progress.

As we move forward from here on, I would request readers to seriously take notes of all such important points that we discuss here, and as we go back and try to implement these points in our daily routine life, it becomes easier for us to take a credible measurement of our progress. Just like how we have progress report cards in schools and colleges, and even performance appraisal systems in our workplaces, it is good to have a “Performance appraisal system” for our spiritual growth and development too! J Once we start maintaining our performance track record, it aides us to check on the areas that we’ve really worked upon well, areas that we need improvement and more focus, etc. With these clear metrics, we can make a strong and a steady progress towards “Dharma”. Hence, let us take it upon us to create these metrics and work according to that.

Moving on further thus, Sage Kapilaachaarya continues to list down the characteristics of those people who have an absolute control of the mind. It might be good if we can re-visit those slokas that drive this whole agenda forward. Sage Kapilaachaarya says thus:

“Tithikshavaha kaarunikaaha sugruthaha sarva dehinaam!

Ajaatha shatravaha shaantaaha saadhavaha sadhu bhooshanaaha!!

Mayiananyena bhaavena bhaktim kurvanti ye dhrudaam!

Math krutetyakta karmaanaam tyakthah svajana baandhavaaha!!

Madaashrayaaha kathaa mrshtaaha shrunvanthee kathanyanvi cha!!”

Of course in the previous episode, we had dicussed the first two characteristics – “Tithiksha” and “Kaarunika” in detail. Now let us move on to the third one:

Sugruthaha sarva dehinaam” – This signifies the characterstic of “constantly thinking good about others and having a concern for others’ welfare more than ours”. In Sanskrit we call this characteristic as “Souhaardham”, which can be translated to “noble heartedness”. As a person who has control over his / her mind, we should make sure that all our thoughts and intentions are positive in nature, and we should be concerned for the benefit of others more than ourselves. This is why we chant the prayer “Lokaah Samastaah Stukino Bhavantu”, which means, “May all living beings in this world be happy and peaceful”. This is what we refer to as a “Noble-heart”. A person is said to possess a noble heart if he constantly thinks about how to keep others happy and contended. Thus, this becomes an important characteristic that we need to adhere to, as we move forward.

However in today’s world, are we having this noble heart nowadays? For a simple consideration, if we’ve to visit our family members on an occasion of a festival or an auspicious day – If people are elder to us, we fall on their feet (Namaskaaram) to seek their blessings, isn’t it? Of course, in those days, people used to bless those who fall on their feet with all their heart and soul. This really would positively transform the life of the person seeking the blessing. But today does this happen? In every family we have some sort of differences, fights, ego problems with each other, etc. If this is the state of affairs, if we go and fall on the feet of these people, seeking blessings from them, will their “blessings” really work? Blessings and wishes would work in the positive way only if they are given with a noble heart and a pure mind. Thus the message from this point is that, if our mind is pure, we would automatically have a noble heart. If a person with a noble heart blesses and wishes someone, these blessings can directly transform the lives of the people who come to seek their blessings.

Ajaatha shatravaha” – Here Sage Kapilaachaarya conveys an important message – A person who has complete control over his / her mind can never be won over by any fierce enemy in this world! We might ask immediately – How is this possible? Will this person be able to put up any sort of physical fight? The simple answer here is that, even if the worst enemy comes near a person who has absolute control over his mind, he / she would automatically drop down his weapons and ego and fall on his feet, seeking refuge! Such is the power of this person with absolute mind control! Even if an enemy tries to attack verbally or physically in some cases, this person would stand like a wall, without any reaction! We might immediately ask here – Are we supposed to behave like dumb people? How can we not react if someone abuses us in the worst possible way? Sage Kapilaachaarya says that if we do not react at all, this in itself is a huge victory for us! For instance, if we go near a wall and shout at it for 30-45 minutes continues, is the wall going to react? What would happen ultimately? After some time, we would lose all our energy after shouting, drink some water and go away!

If we really ponder over the fact that why do people shout at us and abuse us – It is only to provoke our ego, which would make us react in the same hostile way that they want us to react! Whereas, if we’re able to cut down on that reaction which they expect us to give, automatically we would emerge victorious isn’t it? Maybe it might be tough to withhold for the first few minutes, but if we’re able to sustain that without reacting back, the other person would ultimately be projected as a fool, isn’t it?

We can see this charactersitc amongst great leaders in today’s world too! A detailed discussion of this point awaits us in the next episode! Stay tuned! 🙂



Published by Dr. Jeayaram

Holds a PhD in Management Psychology from Universite Paris Saclay, Paris, France. Also an Asst. Professor of Human Resources management at Bharatidhasan Institute of Management (BIM) Trichy, India A professional South Indian classical musician (singer) performing concerts. Through this blog, I'm trying to bring out the richness of Indian culture & values and I request your support and feedbacks in making this humble effort a success!!

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