Episode # 40 – Why should we develop “transparency” within home? Vidura explains!!!

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In the previous episode we had witnessed a very important characteristic of a “Mooda” wherein Vidura had explained that a “Mooda” is a person who always doubts people around him/her even for small and basic things. We had a detailed discussion on the above aspect wherein we saw that in today’s world, “trust” is something that we’ve started to lack amongst ourselves. Of course there are innumerable happenings in the current-day society that forces us to lose trust, however if we do not have the basic trust on anybody around us and if we start doubting and questioning everyone, the world would start looking down at us and eventually we would end up being isolated! We should thus be able to balance trust and doubts together in our lives. For this, we should create that “transparency” within our family members and ourselves. If that transparency is created and if we are able to talk openly and freely to each other, half of the problems would get solved. Hence it is our duty to create such an atmosphere of transparency at home. This would be the first step.

In the modern day, there is also another popular belief – “The younger generation today is getting spoilt in the name of modern lifestyle!” This might sound externally correct, but we’ve to realize that successive generations of people always feel the same thing. For instance, our grandparents might think that their children born in the 1960s and 70s have changed a lot in terms of lifestyle and similarly our parents might also have the same feeling for our generation too. This is a common feeling irrespective of whatever generation it might be and whatever year it might be. Generations would keep changing perpetually and we need to accept the change and move on. We need to accept the reality and act accordingly, rather than creating our own prototype of behaviors and expecting others to follow that prototype that we have in mind.

Also, another challenge in the modern day society is that, people do not talk directly to the person concerned, so as to solve any problem. In the name of “investigation”, we resort to take the problem to others and enquiring about this person’s whereabouts and activities. For instance, if a son or daughter comes home late from office (say around 11 PM or so) just for that one day, what happens nowadays? On the pretext of the “modern generation youth”, parents start doubting that son or daughter by asking irritating questions such as “With whom were you roaming around today?” “Did you go to a bar or a pub?” “Do you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend?” “Did you go to a bar to get drunk?” – The questions are endless. Moreover, some parents also have the habit of calling up their son’s or daughter’s friends to check their movements. Although parents might argue that they are “keeping track” of their children’s whereabouts, at the end of the day, they should realize that they’re intruding into another individual’s private space. If the children come to know about this, do parents think what would they feel?

Many a times when the children listen to such questions, they get extremely irritated, because there might be genuine reasons for their delay in reaching home and parents might not be in a position to understand the real issue here. Hence as a consequence of this, children would get fed up after a point and would start hiding things from parents. The transparency at home starts declining as a result! This is exactly what I’m trying to explain here – If we’ve to curb this from happening, rather than asking irritating questions like the above-mentioned, it is better to ask “Why are you late tonight? What happened?” This would be a straightforward and an open-ended question to ask, rather than making some assumptions ourselves and questioning people based on that. Hence, this is an extremely important point that needs to be introspected by every parent. Also on the other side, children should also make sure that they respect the privacy that their parents give them. Children should be honest to discuss anything and everything with their parents, so as to avoid unwanted problems.       Now moving on to the next attribute, Vidura explains yet another important point today.

“Chiram karothi kshipraarthe!”

 Here, Vidura explains that a person is a “Mooda” when he keeps postponing the tasks that has to be completed within a stipulated time frame. We see in the modern day, governments trying to build infrastructure projects in various cities. For instance, there is a flyover project that is being executed in a busy junction. There would be an announcement that the flyover would be constructed within 18 months at a cost of Rs. 150 crores. But does this happen as per the announcement? Many a times we would see that the answer is “No”! It might normally take more than 10 years and the project cost would escalate to around 500 crore rupees! Thus here, Vidura explains that such people who keep “postponing” the work thus failing to complete the work within the stipulated deadline is a “Mooda”! This leads us to an important discussion on “procrastination”.

Why is procrastination considered a menace in the society today? What are the ill effects of this attribute? Let us wait till the next episode to find out! 🙂 Stay tuned!

 

 

Published by Dr. Jeayaram

Holds a PhD in Management Psychology from Universite Paris Saclay, Paris, France. Also an Asst. Professor of Human Resources management at Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham in Kerala, India. A professional South Indian classical musician (singer) performing concerts. Through this blog, I'm trying to bring out the richness of Indian culture & values and I request your support and feedbacks in making this humble effort a success!!

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