Episode # 299 – “Infighting in families commence with struggle over wealth & property!” – Vidura’s stern warning!!!

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In the previous episode we had witnessed an important point made my Vidura on our fundamental duty of protecting our near and dear ones at all times. It might be our close family members like our parents, in-laws, etc. or our close friends who have a major role to play in our everyday life. Such people should never be deserted at any cost or situation. In due course of discussion yesterday, we had witnessed how we’ve transformed from the lifestyle of a “joint family” system to that of a “nuclear family” system. In due course of time we have completely isolated ourselves from the world and our prime focus is only on our immediate family. It has also become a trend nowadays that owing to “privacy”, we never even share our problems or concerns to anybody outside our shell! This is quite dangerous moving forward and we’re failing to take cues from the experience of our elders to come out of our problems. Such practices only deteriorates our situation further, which might have disastrous consequences on both professional and our personal livelihood.

Hence the point here is that, we need to make sure that we maintain a good and a positive relationship with our near and dear ones and also the ones who are close friends to us. Of course I’m not saying that we need to take care of anyone and everyone who go on the road, but the immediate concern is mainly for our parents, brothers, sisters, in-laws, etc. who form the close circle of our family. If this circle is taken care of, it is more than enough! Hence let us do the needful!

Now moving on further, Vidura explains that if we’ve to have a sustainable flow of wealth of income, we need to ensure that people around us are also ensured with the same. Vidura explains thus:

“Kulavriddhim nyaatayaha vardhaneeyaaha thairya icchantyaathmanashubham!

                        Kula vriddhim cha raajendra tasmaath sadhu samaachara!!”

Here Vidura explains categorically that if we need to maintain our happiness with the riches that we’ve got, we need to make sure that our close circle of people should not be made to suffer for the want of money or any kind of wealth. If we have the opportunity to possess what they don’t have, it would be of great help to provide them with what we have and thus making them happy. For instance in today’s scenario, there might be families wherein there are two brothers – One brother might have been highly educated and working with a reputed organization, thus earning considerably well. While the other brother might not be as educated as the other one, and might be facing a struggle to make the ends of his life meet. In this scenario, the former should not shy away from helping the latter with the required amount of money to sustain. Whatever maybe the reason, the person who earns more in the family, should try and support the other person who earns a bit lesser.

The problem that might occur in the modern day is that, many of us have ego problems! We might start thinking, “If I help my brother today, what would he do to me in return tomorrow?” This is the most common question that we keep asking! Struggling to find answers for this above question, we ourselves start asking the subsequent series of questions thus, What if my brother cheats me tomorrow if he sets to gain more money than me? On account of his so-called lesser income, what if my brother takes away all the ancestral property of my parents and deny me my share of it?” This is where all problems start in many families! This burst of ego triggers an internal war between the two brothers and this escalates to the parents, wherein both would start accusing their parents that they show partial treatment to only one of them! Such fights can be seen quite often in today’s families and sadly the situation is becoming worse day by day! This finally results in the breaking of relationships between the brothers and also between the son and parents. Thus in today’s scenario we might see in almost every family that somewhere somebody would be waging internal wars with each other for the want of property, money, etc. We should always remember that such things are only detrimental to our family and by doing all such things, we’re only sending a wrong message to the younger generation to fall in line with fights!

Thus the important point that Vidura is stressing here is that, such things are a disgrace to the well-being of our family and should not happen at any cost! Such unnecessary fights would only lead us to disintegration of our family value system and we should never go down such a path. Thus the key message here is that, if there are family members (might be anyone – brothers, sisters, etc.) who are in want of wealth, we should be ready to offer them without any prejudice. If we’re trying to take this step, there would be no space for unwanted ego and negative thoughts about anyone. We should always remember that happiness and peace of mind would reign only if we’re ready to let go of certain things. If we’re trying to hold on to our stand too much on anything, it is never going to work! We should be ready to part our wealth or property that we have with others, so that all of us can live in peace and harmony!

This is what is missing here too – Vidura laments in frustration that Duryodhana is extremely selfish and he is trying to inflict all kinds of problems on his Paandava brothers so that he maintains all the riches and luxuries within himself. If he had a small iota of thought of sharing his wealth with the Paandava brothers, all these infighting and the crisis of a fully-blown family war would have been averted! Hence the message to King Dhirdiraashtra and to all of us is very clear! For today let us ponder over this important point and let’s wait for tomorrow’s episode to witness Vidura’s next point! Stay tuned! 🙂

Published by Dr. Jeayaram

Holds a PhD in Management Psychology from Universite Paris Saclay, Paris, France. Also an Asst. Professor of Human Resources management at Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham in Kerala, India. A professional South Indian classical musician (singer) performing concerts. Through this blog, I'm trying to bring out the richness of Indian culture & values and I request your support and feedbacks in making this humble effort a success!!

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