Episode # 292 – Constant “supremacy” fights at home damage relationships forever – An important point to ponder!!!


In the previous episode we had witnessed yet another important point emphasized by Vidura wherein he says that real and sustained victory is never possible in this world if we’re going to demoralize and demolish others on the way. He pinpoints the character of Duryodhana and explains to King Dhirdiraashtra that the world can never see a better crook than what Duryodhana currently is! In other words, he has tried out all sorts of atrocities on the Paandavas and has insulted and demeaned them to the core – All because he wants to succeed his father to the throne, by hook or crook!

This point is of course not only applicable to Duryodhana alone but to all of us in the modern day. At the end of the previous episode I had put forth a series of questions for all of us to ponder upon. “What are we going to achieve upoin winning over another person by resorting to any extent possible?” Let us give this important question some substantiation and relevance to today’s context. Both in the personal and professional front, every passing day we get into some kind of a fight or an argument with someone and try showing our “supremacy” over that person! For instance, it has become a common affair at many homes nowadays that the wife is trying to scream on top of her voice to silence her husband or vice versa. If we’re going to fight this way within the family to establish our supremacy over our partner, what is going to happen ultimately? If at all we gain and re-gain our “supremacy” over our partner, who is going to award a trophy for our “victory”? Moreover, what is the ultimate benefit of our victory over the other person? Is it going to be sustainable? Unfortunately the answer is “no”! If this kind of a “supremacy” fight rages between the couple, ultimately at some point in time, one of them is going to lose interest over the other person and finally leads to divorce or breakup or a separation of the couple. Hence if “victory” is labelled as “getting over the skin of the other person” by hook or crook, it is never going to happen! Maybe at that instant of time we might feel happy and contented that we’ve won over that poor husband or wife, but ultimately we should remember that because of this fight, we’re starting to lose that person forever from our life! Hence if a married life should be enjoyable between the couple, there should be some sort of a compromise and understanding between the two people. The more we compromise with each other’s likes, dislikes, interests, etc. and the more we start talking with each other patiently and with care, the relationship prospers and the intimacy between the couple grows exponentially, thus resulting in ultimate happiness and peace of mind. Hence all of us should think of this point very seriously, so as to make our personal lives peaceful and happy.

Similarly when we look into our professional lives, how many instances are we witnessing today wherein there are “political rivalries”, “corporate rivalries”, etc.? These sort of things are increasing at an alarming rate, not only in India but also across the world. There are innumerable cases wherein people take revenge on each other, just to prove the point of “supremacy” and to answer the question “Who is the boss?” We’re witnessing corporate politics so much in today’s world that this has started to hamper the growth of an organization in a very bad way! Forget rivalry between two competitors, nowadays rivalries are raging between employees within the same organization – All for that “supremacy” over each other! Thus eventually the end result here because of the “fight for supremacy” is that, nobody is going to win! The organization is going to go down the detrimental path and none of the employees are going to benefit out of this useless war.

Hence the point here is that, by waging useless political fights, battles, etc. within families, corporate companies, etc. nobody is going to win over each other. Ultimately we’re facing huge threats of detrimental effects. This is exactly what Vidura is trying to advice King Dhirdiraashtra here – He asks King DHirduraashtra thus, “Oh King! What is your son Duryodhana going to gain by defaming and insulting the Paandavas this way? Maybe the kingdom – Yes! But is it going to be a sustainable victory? Do you think Duryodhana is going to be happy after getting the kingdom? This evil game is never going to end – He’s going to repeatedly create hardships to the Paandavas and ultimately neither he nor the Paandavas are going to live in peace!”

So for today, let us  realize the fact that just because of shouting or screaming over someone, or just because of any sorts of violence over someone is not going to yield us any sort of victory! Real sustained victory would come only with our sincere hard work and performance on the ground. Without real performance, all other talks and fights are short-lived and we can never win over anyone in this world with such an attitude. When it comes to our home and personal life, we should make sure that if at all there is a misunderstanding or a misconception between the couple, we should try to broker peace and collectively analyse the situation, rather than picking up a fight and ending up proving our “supremacy” over each other! Such attempts are only going to thwart the relationship and ultimately would lead us to damaging consequences of separation from our near and dear partner, who has tried to give his/her life for us and our happiness! Hence for today let us ponder once more over this important point and let us wait till the next episode to take Vidura’s next point for discussion! Stay tuned! 🙂

Published by Dr. Jeayaram

Holds a PhD in Management Psychology from Universite Paris Saclay, Paris, France. Also an Asst. Professor of Human Resources management at Bharatidhasan Institute of Management (BIM) Trichy, India A professional South Indian classical musician (singer) performing concerts. Through this blog, I'm trying to bring out the richness of Indian culture & values and I request your support and feedbacks in making this humble effort a success!!

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