In the previous episode we had witnessed an extension of the discussion on channelization of our anger in the right and productive way. We saw how Bhagawan Rama was an epitome of this important characteristic wherein Valmiki Maharishi had explained even at the start of the Ramayana text as one of Bhagawan’s sixteen “Kalyaana Gunas”. We witnessed an anecdote too from the Valmiki Ramayana as to how Bhagawan Rama was an epitome in controlling an conquering anger (“Jithah krodhaha”) and at the same time, an epitome in unleashing his full fury on those people who abuse and attack His ardent devotee! If Bhagawan unleashes his fury, even Devas (Celestial Beings) would start shivering with fear (“Kasya bibyati devaaha”). Hence from this, the important message for all of us is that, we need to try and cultivate the habit of controlling our anger at unwanted places and towards unwanted people. Anger should be shown only towards situations wherein it would lead to something productive.
Similarly, we witnessed yesterday that winning and conquering over everyone and everything in this world is virtually impossible and is not necessary too. We have this normal tendency at home wherein when our wife shouts at us for something, we would give her an equal shouting with all our anger and fury so as to “win” over her in an argument. We should think for a moment here – What are we going to gain in life by just winning over our wife, who ultimately looks for our own benefit? Again, Bhagawan Rama was an epitome when it comes to enriching happiness in the married life. Today we shall continue this important point and witness how Bhagawan Rama ensured that Mother Sita was happy.
When Bhagawan Rama, Lakshmana and Mother Sita were in the forest during that fourteen year tenure, they were living at a place called “Chitrakoota” for a few years. It was a beautiful and a scenic place with lot of trees, lakes, ponds, etc. around. Upon seeing a huge lake, Rama and Sita wanted to have a competition amongst each other in swimming! The rule of the competition was this – Both of them should dive inside the water at the same time, swim across to the other shore, touch it and come back to the point where they started. Whoever comes first can have the “prize” of making fun of the other person. Both of them agreed to the rule. For every game there should be an “umpire” isn’t it? 🙂 Here who’s the umpire? It was none other than Lakshmana himself!
Thus the contest began and both Rama and Sita jumped into the water. All of us know the valor and strength of Bhagawan Rama! There’s no doubt that he’s an expert in swimming too and hence he quickly swam across, touched the other bund of the lake and was on his way back with lightning speed! However while he was coming back, he wanted to know where Sita was and hence he turned his head and tried to find out where was she. He found that she had not even crossed half the distance! Mother Sita, as we all know is such a gentle and a soft woman and she’s pretty slow in her speed of swimming too. Now Rama thinks within himself, “Oh! Now if I want to win this race I can do it within the next few minutes. But what’s the use of winning over my dear wife? Let her win the contest and let her make fun of me!” Thinking thus, Rama went deep into the pond and sat down, holding his breath for some time! Only after Sita swam across and reached the winning point, did Rama get up from his spot beneath the water!
Thus when both of them reached the shore, Lakshmana announces that Mother Sita is the winner! Now Sita asks Lakshmana with a laugh, “Oh Lakshmana! Till now you’ve been telling me that your brother Rama was an expert in all kinds of arts, then how come he’s not able to swim properly today?” Lakshmana replies back with a laugh thus, “Oh Mother Sita! You know what? When we learnt swimming during our ‘Gurukula’ days, Rama used to bunk those classes and he didn’t learn it properly! Now that today we had this swimming contest, his bunking of swimming classes came to light!”
When Mother Sita heard this from Lakshmana, she laughed our loud and with all her heart and upon seeing Sita laughing, Rama was so happy! Of course Mother Sita knows very well that Rama is capable of swimming and is an expert in it. However when she realized that her husband was sacrificing his victory to make her laugh, Mother Sita’s happiness knew no bounds!
Thus from this episode, the message is very clear – Only if one loses out to his wife, will the married life be sweet and lovely! If one wants to continuously win over the other, it would give rise to ego problems and thus the sweetness of the married life is lost! Hence we should make it a point that we should be prepared to let go of few things for the happiness of our partner, and once we start letting go of things, happiness reigns in automatically!
So for today, let us ponder over this point once more and let us realize the fact that “compromise” within a married life adds on to the happiness and love within the two people. Of course this should be both ways – A husband should be ready to compromise certain things for his wife and similarly the wife also should be ready to compromise few things for the husband. At the end of the day we should remember that both husband and wife are two individual human beings and both of them have their own likes and dislikes. Sometimes, the wife wouldn’t like few things what the husband likes, and vice versa. Hence, rather than quarrelling and arguing over these things, we can try to sit together, talk openly with each other and find out those things that we have a similarity in liking. Once we discover similarities within each other, we become more comfortable to live together.
More than anything else, both the husband and wife should together cultivate the interest of “Satsangs” and performing spiritual practices together, that would directly impact the married life in a positive way! I’m sure many people would have this interest within them, but even if that interest is not there, it is better to cultivate it within the husband and wife. For instance, both of them can plan a time wherein they can chant few slokas like “Lalitha Sahasranama” or “Vishnu Sahasranama” together and by doing so, there are innumerable benefits for both of them and also for the house and family. Also, by performing spiritual practices together, the minds of both the husband and wife become pure and thus results in unending happiness and peace of mind!
Hence let us take this as a message from today’s episode and let us try to consciously implement this in our daily life. We shall wait till the next episode to witness Vidura’s next important point! Stay tuned! 🙂