Episode # 206 – “Never abuse or insult your daughter-in-law unnecessarily!” – Vidura’s important advice!!!

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In the previous episode we had witnessed the twelvth category of people going to hell, wherein Vidura clearly explains that those of us who have unwanted and uncontrollable desire on something or someone, which is illegal, will definitely knock the doors of Hell! Of course this is directly applicable to all of us both in our personal and professional lives. We come across innumerable people and things in our every day life and there is always this possibility that we would fall into the trap called “desire” on something or someone at any point in time. This is where we need to use our sense of discrimination to analyze if this desire at this point in time is good for us or not. Even in our professional life we might come across many situations wherein we feel that we should go ahead with a lucrative professional deal immediately, only to come to know later that the deal sucked away all our hard-earned money! Hence we should be very careful while we’re at our work place and should make sure that we do not get carried away by some so-called “lucrative” deals, which might many a time be unethical and unwarranted against the rules and regulations of our organization. If we do so and budge into the hands of some unwanted people, our life would become a mess – If the organization comes to know of our secretive deals of making extra money, we would get a “Black mark” in our career and would not be able to get a job in our entire future! Hence we need to be extremely careful in this regard by not falling into the trap of anti-social elements in the workplace!

Now moving on to the thirteenth category of people going to Hell, Vidura explains thus:

“Vadhvaavahasam shasuromanyateyaha!!”

Here Vidura conveys an important message – If a father-in-law makes mockery of his daughter-in-law by using abusive words, he makes himself eligible to knock the doors of Hell! This is directly applicable to King Dhirdiraashtra wherein he was instrumental in the public insult of Draupati (Wife of the Paandavas). Of course King Dhirdiraashtra’s brother was Paandu (Father of the Paandavas) and after his passing away, the Paandavas treated King Dhirdiraashtra as their own father. Hence it is the duty of King Dhirdiraashtra to protect the basic moral rights of his sons’ wife Draupati. He becomes a father-in-law in this case. Now clearly when Draupati was abused physically and sexually in front of the whole courtroom, the father-in-law was completely silent and gazing at those people who were insulting the poor woman! Hence in this way, Vidura pokes King Dhirdiraashtra that he has a “confirmed ticket” to Hell, because of this one big fault of his!

Of course an important point here in today’s world too. Today we see many families getting into this trap by insulting and abusing the daughter-in-law who comes to their house with lot of aspirations of a happy married life. This of course is not only applicable to the father-in-law, but also for the mother-in-law too! As parents, we should always ensure that the girl who comes into our house is like Goddess Lakshmi entering our house and hence it is our duty to respect and revere her. We should make sure that she is treated as our own little daughter and should ensure that we do not insult her in any way. We should ensure that she is happy without shedding tears. If we end up insulting a woman for no fault of hers, we would get into the curse of that woman and this curse would ensure that we reach Hell in some way or the other.

Now moving on to the fourteenth category, Vidura explains thus:

“Vadhvaa vasan abhayaha maana kaamaha!”

Here Vidura is giving an extension to the thirteenth category – If both the mother-in-law and the father-in-law realize that they should live under the mercy of their daughter-in-law only, it is better not to show tantrums to her. The best way is to fold hands and respect her at home! 🙂 Else if the in-laws are hell bent on their stance that whatever might be the case, the daughter-in-law should “respect” them in each and every way, they’re sure to go to Hell only! Here we should also understand that “Hell” might not only be the real Hell that Bhagawan gives at the end of our lifetime. This might also signify the “Hell” that we create by ourselves at our home! If the in-laws are going to demand undue respect from their daughter-in-law in today’s life, they’re definitely going to be doomed in no time! 🙂 Hence adequate care should be taken by the in-laws to adjust and find a way to satisfy both themselves as well as their daughter-in-law! As we discussed in the last episode itself, if we identify someone to be a “Balavaan” or a person with more physical strength, it is better to respect them and make friends with them, rather than going for a fight with them. Similarly here too, if the daughter-in-law proves herself to be a “Balavaan”, it is always better for the in-laws to make friends with her, rather than constantly keep fighting with her for everything! 🙂

Of course this might be a bitter pill to chew for many of us, but if something is a fact, we need to accept it and move on. So for today let us introspect these two important points of Vidura pertaining to the daughter-in-law and let us find ways to adjust and lead an amicable and a peaceful life. We shall wait till the next episode to witness the last four categories of people going to Hell, according to Vidura! Stay tuned! 🙂

Published by Dr. Jeayaram

Holds a PhD in Management Psychology from Universite Paris Saclay, Paris, France. Also an Asst. Professor of Human Resources management at Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham in Kerala, India. A professional South Indian classical musician (singer) performing concerts. Through this blog, I'm trying to bring out the richness of Indian culture & values and I request your support and feedbacks in making this humble effort a success!!

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