In the previous episode we had witnessed yet another important discussion from the Vidura Neeti wherein Vidura is advising King Dhirdiraashtra with regards to controlling our tongue at crucial situations. He explains to King Dhirdiraashtra that one of the main attributes of a righteous king is to know what to talk, when to talk and how to talk. He reminds King Dhirdiraashtra of the verbal insult that his son Duryodhana had inflicted upon the Paandavas and their wife Draupati in the public courtroom and by doing so, he had accumulated all the sins of the Paandavas on to his head! Thus the message from Vidura yesterday was that, if we’re to scold or abuse someone verbally, we would not only accumulate sins for this heinous action, but also would accumulate the other person’s sins on to our head too! Hence we need to be very careful here.
This is of course not only applicable to King Dhirdiraashtra but also for all of us in today’s scenario. Although we go through loads of physical/mental stress and strain in toady’s compelling professional and personal lifestyle, we need to be careful not to insult or abuse others verbally for anything. Especially if that person whom we’re trying to abuse is a “Panditha” or a learned scholar, the ill effect of this action is going to be even worse! Hence in short, we need to control our tongue during these testing times and if we do that successfully, half of our problems would get solved! If we look into some of the common societal problems that we face today such as divorce, any other domestic issues between husband and wife, or with parents, with friends, etc. majority of these problems are due to lack of proper communication. If this communication channel between people is set right with love and affection, there cannot be a better solution for all the problems that we face!
But in today’s world, what do we tend to do? We tend to get frustrated so easily and try to vent it out to our near and dear ones, sometimes for no fault of theirs! As mentioned yesterday, hatred and violence can never be a solution for any problem in this world. Rather, it would only aggravate the problem in hand. We see this happening not only at the domestic level within the four walls of the house, but also on a societal and even at a community and an international level. Unfortunately today, there are certain religious groups that misinterpret their so-called “holy book” to prove their “superiority” by inciting violence and by unleashing “terrorist” activities across the world. We’re frequently witnessing such incidences in many parts of the world, including India. Due to these barbaric activities, not only thousands of innocent people lose their lives, but also the peace in the world is completely destroyed! Such actions are highly condemnable and unpardonable in nature As ardent followers of our “Sanaathana Dharma”, we should make sure that we do not fall into such categories of barbaric people in this world and we should always keep such people at bay. Thus the basic understanding is that, violence, physical and verbal abuse can never be justified as a solution to any problem in this world.
Here is where we extend yesterday’s point of discussion to the next level. If I say that we need to control our tongue and refrain ourselves from hurting others when a problem is going on, it doesn’t mean to always shut our mouths and keep quiet. If there’s an opportunity for us to express ourselves, we can always do so with kind and affectionate words. Ultimately we should realize that any problem in this world has a solution and this solution can easily be materialised with our pleasing words and actions. In addition to the above point, even seemingly complex problems can easily be broken down by just a few simple but pleasing and affectionate sentences. Any human being in this world would melt down to pleasing words and realize their folly and this is the power of love and affection.
Of course we might still argue if this is possible or not! Yes, all of us are human beings and we have a limitation of our tolerance capability. However, even if there’s a spat due to whatsoever reason, we need to be aware and conscious in a way that this spat doesn’t blow out of limits. For instance, even at our home if we happen to have a spat with our wife or our husband, we should always be aware of our limits in doing so. Some people take even small problems so seriously to heart, that what begins as a small verbal spat blows out of proportion and thus even going to the extent of separation and divorce! This advice from Vidura is especially for these people – Any issue that we face in our day-to-day personal life with our husband or wife shouldn’t be taken seriously to heart so as to avenge each other! The moment we learn to let go off things in a simpler way, our lives would become very colourful and peaceful. Rather if we tend to hold on to our stance very strictly, things are going to get harder and tougher to manage.
Ultimately we should realize that in a marriage, both the husband and the wife are two different individuals and each individual has the fundamental right to possess certain likes and dislikes in life. We need to give that space to each other to express freely and thus the understanding would automatically come. Once this understanding arises, love and affection would follow and once love and affection arises, we would automatically behave in a pleasing manner with each other and thus our lives would become peaceful without any unwanted quarrels or spats.
Thus the message from today’s extended discussion on this topic is that, every problem in this world has a definitive solution and this solution can be arrived at only with love and affection. Violence and adopting harsh means such as physical or verbal abuse can never bring about a solution to any problem. Even if the issue is complex, there is always a positive way to look at it with pleasing and affectionate words. This would melt the hearts of the opponent and thus would pave the way for corrective action to take place! So for today, let us introspect on this important point and try to apply this in our everyday lives. Once we start implementing this, we would definitely witness a positive change in our lives and this is what our “Sanaathana Dharma” preaches us! We shall wait till the next episode to witness more of Vidura’s such golden advice. Stay tuned! 🙂