In the previous episode we extended the discussion on controlling of our senses to the next step wherein we discussed the reasons why our senses run out of control many a times! We spoke about two important reasons thus – “Kaama” (Desire) is the first step of destruction and “Krodha” (Anger) follows the first step in destroying us completely! We’ve of course discussed this in our previous episodes and apart from Vidura, even Bhagawan Krishna himself is constantly reminding us that we should treat “Kaama” and “Krodha” as our worst enemies and we should deal with them carefully.
Now moving on to the final point in this phase of Vidura Neeti, Vidura concludes this discussion by explaining how important is it for us to control our tongue! We should note that we should talk only when required and we should talk only what is required. Let us see what Vidura has to say with this regard:
“Aakrosha parivaadhaabhyaam vihimsanthyabudhaa budhaan!
Vakthaa paapam upaadakthe kshamamaano vimuchyathe!!”
Here Vidura explains this same point on controlling our tongue in a different way – If a person criticizes and scolds a “Panditha”, all the sins that the “Panditha” had accumulated in his birth gets transferred to the person who criticizes him! In other words, if I openly criticize a learned person on a stage, whatever sins and wrongdoings that the learned person might have done all through his birth, would be put upon my head completely! It should be noted that anybody in this world, irrespective of being a “Panditha” or a “Mooda” would be having loads of sins accumulated with them for the past innumerable births (including the present birth).
This is exactly where Duryodhana and Co. had made the blunder. Vidura points out at King Dhirdiraashtra and slams him again saying thus: “Oh King Dhirdiraashtra! As a righteous king, don’t you know how important is it to control one’s tongue and words? You’ve allowed your son Duryodhana to insult Uddhishtra and his Paandava brothers very badly and that too in the public courtroom! How dare would you allow that as a king? Don’t you think it is a blunder? Now let me tell you – By this public insult that Duryodhana has inflicted on the Paandavas, the sins and wrongdoings of Duryodhana has increased manifold! That is, he has accumulated all those sins and wrongdoings of the Paandavas too, because when he insulted them, the wrongdoings and sins of the Paandavas have also got transferred onto his head! Of course, the Paandavas also have loads of sins accumulated onto them! But with the way Duryodhana insulted them, he had taken away all their sins and put them on his own head, thus releasing the Paandavas out of all their sins too!”
Vidura continues further by saying thus, “Oh King Dhirdiraashtra! By doing so, do you know what has happened now and who has benefitted out of this? Indirectly the Paandavas have immensely benefitted by Duryodhana’s foolish act of insulting them publicly, because all their sins have now been transferred on to Duryodhana’s head and he has become an embodiment of sins now! Thus, even without you knowing this, you’ve earned such a huge disaster for yourself!”
Thus the overall message from Vidura’s above slamming is that, those who scold or insult others would attract all the sins and wrongdoings of those who are being scolded! In other words, the sins and wrongdoings of the people, who are being scolded, would be transferred to the person who is scolding them very badly! This is why our elders constantly keep advising us that we should never shout at and insult anybody, whoever it might be and whatever might be the reason or circumstance. Once words come out from our tongue, it is impossible to take them back. A person once insulted, stays insulted forever and it creates such a strain to the relationship between that person and us that many a times goes beyond repair!
In the modern day it is extremely painful to see many families getting split because of war of words between the father and the son, mother and the daughter, elder brother and the younger brother, etc. Even friendship is no exception to this – How many times we’ve seen very thick and close friends getting separated because of an ugly spat between them? If we’ve to explore deeper into it, these arguments in most of the cases would be baseless or just because of a very small issue. Hence, if we spend some few minutes within ourselves, think and analyze the situation first before talking nonsense, half of the problems would be solved. We should first of all realize that “war of words” could never solve any problem in this world. Rather it would only aggravate the problem and would blow it out of proportion! If there is an argument brewing up between two people, it is only the ego that gets flared up between both of them, which directly fuels in more and more ugly spats being exchanged.
Thus for today we should ponder about this important fact of life and we should take a conscious step forward to restrain ourselves from falling into this trap. Even if someone tries to provoke us with some irritating arguments and words, we should quickly remind ourselves of this important advice of Vidura and should develop that maturity to pull ourselves out of that situation and move away! In fact in such irritating situations, it is always best to just move away from that place at that time, without letting our tongue wag its tail. By moving away from that place, we can prevent the problem from flaring up further at that moment, which would instead create new set of problems! It is always better to be patient and wait till the anger calms down and then find a solution to the problem in hand. We shall wait till the next episode to carry this important discussion forward! Stay tuned! 🙂