Episode # 86 – Vidura’s beautiful explanation on “Work-life Balance” – How do we create happiness within our family?

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In the previous episode we had witnessed an interesting explanation from Vidura with regards to six different aspects that would ensure complete comfort and satisfaction in our every day life. They are “Arthaagamah” (If we’re able to get “non-stop” and uninterrupted income of money), “Nithyamaarogithaa” (If we’re able to lead a life without paying a visit to a doctor on account of physical illness), “Priyaacha bhaarya” (If we’re blessed with a wife who is amicable and understanding), “Priya Vadineecha” (If we’re blessed with a wife who has the capability to talk in a pleasing manner), “Vaschascha puthra” (If we’re blessed with children who do not deviate an inch from our advice and guidance) and finally “Artha kaareescha vidya” (If we’re able to get a job in line with our educational qualifications). Hence Vidura explains that these above six elements would give immense happiness, satisfaction and pleasure in our life.

Now that we’ve seen those elements that give us the ultimate happiness in life, our current focus should be on how efficiently we act so that we ensure that these six elements are with us always. For instance, if our life partner (Wife or husband) is not having that characteristic of talking in a pleasing manner, how can we make this happen? How can we teach our husband or wife to talk in a pleasing manner? We should take a conscious step forward to make things happen, rather than cribbing with each other.

Of course during the initial days of marriage it would be tough, since both the man and the woman are two different individuals with different interests, priorities, tastes, etc. We need to consciously spend time with each other during the first two or three years to understand each other’s likes and dislikes and slowly try to adjust. If this adjustment and understanding doesn’t happen within the first few months or years of marriage, life can become miserable. Hence, as “Grihasthas” (Family-oriented people) all of us should make a conscious effort in understanding our partner, know his/her likes and dislikes and adjust accordingly. If this is done in a proper way with understanding, love and affection would automatically prosper and our married life would naturally become a paradise.

But do we make this happen in the modern day? What are those factors that are hampering us from making this happen between our spouse? Firstly it is our lifestyle of the present day – Owing to various demands and pressures of the modern day life, both the husband and wife have to work in organizations to earn money for a sustained living. As a result of this, the husband and wife in the present day never get to see each other properly during the weekdays! The only time that they get to spend with each other at home will be the weekend, but even then there would be loads of household chores to be completed. Hence if we have to calculate the productive time that we spend at home with our partner, it is alarmingly reducing day after day! If this communication is reduced between the husband and the wife, what happens to the relationship? How does the understanding happen? Doesn’t it become a potential threat to the relationship between the couple? Isn’t it a threat to the family fabric, for which India is widely respected and revered around the world?

Hence we should think about all this and try to adjust our schedules in such a way that we have sufficient time to spend with our partner and children at home. This is what we call in the modern day as “Work-life Balance”. Thus we should make a conscious effort to attain this “work-life balance” so as to make our life interesting, happy and peaceful. This is exactly what Vidura has explained thousands of years ago! How much of visionary thoughts were Vidura and Sage Veda Vyasa having! They were able to predict what all situations would unfold after thousands of years and have imparted the “Dharma” well in advance! Hence it is not enough if we just read through this “Vidura Neethi” everyday. All of us need to make a conscious effort to put all the principles of “Dharma” in practice. Only if we make the effort, we would be able to attain all these six elements that Vidura had explained in the previous sloka. All these six elements can be made effective provided we plan in advance, prepare a strategy and execute our plans accordingly. Thus for instance, if a couple is well-understanding, amicable and adjusting in nature, this would set an example for the children to follow. This would automatically signal to the children that their parents are an epitome of happiness and eventually would start respecting and obeying us. If on the contrary, the parents keep fighting with each other every passing day, what sort of a respect can we expect from our children? Thus, if we are united as a family with the proper understanding between each other, all the other five elements of happiness would automatically fall into place! 

Of course, there would be hurdles in the middle. But those hurdles should not deter us from executing our plans in a proper way. We might be thinking what would be those hurdles that I’m talking about! In the very next sloka itself, Vidura explains the six different types of hurdles that we need to overcome, so as to attain the six elements of happiness and satisfaction. What are those six types of hurdles? Let us wait till the next episode to find out! Stay tuned! 🙂

Published by Dr. Jeayaram

Holds a PhD in Management Psychology from Universite Paris Saclay, Paris, France. Also an Asst. Professor of Human Resources management at Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham in Kerala, India. A professional South Indian classical musician (singer) performing concerts. Through this blog, I'm trying to bring out the richness of Indian culture & values and I request your support and feedbacks in making this humble effort a success!!

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