Episode # 72 – “Accepting an unconditional apology” – Is it possible in today’s scenario???


In the previous episode we had witnessed yet another important attribute of a leader – Acceptance of a person unconditionally irrespective of whomever he/she might be. This is an extremely important characteristic that escalates a person’s respect to the highest level amongst his surrounding people. We had also witnessed yesterday, two important events from the Ramayana wherein Lord Rama had demonstrated this characteristic as a righteous king – He had reminded Vaali of this important “Raaja-Dharma” and later on, he himself demonstrated this characteristic by accepting Vibhishana unconditionally, despite Sugriva opposing it. By accepting Vibhishana, Lord Rama showed to the world that by accepting a person unconditionally, he/she would be more loyal and faithful to the leader with immense respect.

Thiruvalluvar in his famous Thirukkural in Tamil explains a similar attribute. He says,

“Innaar seidaare oruthar avar naana nannayam seidhu vidal!!”

Here, Thiruvalluvar goes even a step further. He says, more than just unconditionally accepting a person who has committed a mistake, we’ve to do something good for them in return so that they would feel embarrassed by hanging their head in shame! Why would they feel embarrassed and shameful? They would ultimately feel that they’ve committed this mistake to a wrong person! What a great teaching is this!

We might immediately ask the question – How applicable is this characteristic in today’s life? How do we implement this in today’s scenario, given the amount of challenges we face daily from different types of people? Firstly all of us should realize one important fact of life – There could be nobody in this world who has not committed even a single mistake in his/her life! In other words, no human being can be 100% perfect! All of us commit some kind of mistakes at every stage in our lives and this is a continuous process. Hence, if we’ve to blame someone for what mistake they’ve committed and if we refuse to accept their unconditional apology for the same, let us think for a moment – “Are we perfect? If we were in that situation, what would have been my reaction? What is the probability that I would not have committed the same error like the other person?” If we start thinking thus, we would have to start hanging our heads down in shame! Hence the message from today’s extended discussion on this point is that, before we blame and refuse to accept someone for some wrongdoing, let us look and introspect within ourselves as to how many wrongdoings we’ve done so far in our lives! Thus we should strive together to stop blaming others for all what have gone wrong. Moreover, if someone comes to us with an unconditional apology for their wrongdoing, it should be our duty to accept their apologies and advise them as to how they can improve further from that point. This would be beneficial both for their and our sustainable growth!

Now that we’ve spoken about “blaming” others, we need to focus on something that is widely prevalent in today’s scenario – “Blame-Game” and “Passing the buck” without taking responsibility for a failure. We can see this widely in today’s political scenario. I’ve spoken about this in a different context, but this is another context where this particular discussion might be valid as well. In our constitution why do we have an “Opposition party”? The main duty of the opposition party is to critically scrutinize the activities of the ruling government and check if any wrongdoings are happening. If there is some wrongdoing somewhere, it is the duty of the opposition party to come up with constructive steps as to how to avoid such mistakes in future. This would be an excellent strategy for the betterment of the nation. But today, unfortunately what do the opposition parties resort to in the parliament? They come up with criticisms that are completely baseless, without any facts, figures to support their narratives and moreover, disrupt the normal proceedings of the parliament and paralyze it for days together! Is this democracy? Is this the reason for what we’ve elected the so-called “Members of Parliament/Legislature”? Aren’t they cheating us by involving themselves in such activities just for the sake of gaining cheap publicity and for scoring some political brownie points? Where are we going towards as a nation? As Indians and as true nationalists, we need to differentiate between those who strive for our country’s development and those who promote their “hidden political agenda” so as to ruin and loot our country! It is in our hands to hand over a decisive mandate to such people and save our country from loot and scoot! Let us together think about this.

Thus, the important messages from this lengthy discussion are that, firstly we need to understand that everybody is bound to make mistakes and it is only by making mistakes we would learn something constructive. Secondly, since we are now aware that none of us are perfect, we need to be prepared to accept others when they come to us seeking unconditional apology for the mistake that they’ve committed. It’s our bound duty to do so! Thirdly, rather than blaming others for a failure and passing the buck, we should unite together and introspect as to what had really gone wrong and how to take corrective measures. If we follow these three attributes meticulously, I’m sure India and the whole world would become a much better place to live in, both in terms of peace and harmony! We shall wait for the next episode to take Vidura’s next explanation forward! Stay tuned! 🙂

Published by Dr. Jeayaram

Holds a PhD in Management Psychology from Universite Paris Saclay, Paris, France. Also an Asst. Professor of Human Resources management at Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham in Kerala, India. A professional South Indian classical musician (singer) performing concerts. Through this blog, I'm trying to bring out the richness of Indian culture & values and I request your support and feedbacks in making this humble effort a success!!

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