Episode # 296 – Yudishtra’s second resolve – “I would never create rift / enmity towards anyone!!!”

In the previous episode, we had witnessed Yudishtra’s first resolve (“Shabadam”) that he took in front of everyone as to not hurting anybody through words or heated arguments using harsh language and unparliamentary words. This is a very important resolve that Yudishtra is taking, which is very much applicable to all of us as well – If there are good and pleasing words in the dictionary, we have no rights or business to use unparliamentary words while addressing another person, no matter how much angry or frustrated we might be. Of course, this is easier said than done by many of us, but we’ve to consciously practise this in our daily lives. If we’re able to control our tongue, half of the problems would come to an end automatically. The main issue in many cases is because of the heated argument and the harsh words that we use to scold each other. If we use one unparliamentary word on another person, he/she would get irritated and fire us back with two unparliamentary words. In return, we would fire back four or five unparliamentary words at the other person, and the fight would develop into a huge clash! Ultimately, it would then become a clash of egos between the two, rather than finding a solution to the problem in hand. Rather, if we’re able to maintain ourselves calm and composed and if we’re using a pleasing language while addressing others, it becomes very easy to make the others fall in line with us. Hence, we should think about this moving forward. 

Now for the second one – Yudishtra explains that for the next thirteen years, he would not exercise “Bhedam” (Rift) between anyone. In other words, there will be no difference between him and his brothers, his parents vs. others’ parents, his relatives vs. other relatives, etc. Nobody is higher or lower to anyone in any context and all are equal. This is what Yudishtra is going to practise for the next thirteen years. If such is the feeling that all of them around us are equal, then where is the possibility of a fight? In today’s scenario, why do we see people fighting with each other? It is only because we create that rift between us and others. For instance, fights between the wife and in-laws are very common in today’s scenario. Why is such a fight happening? The primary reason behind the fight is that the daughter-in-law is unable to accept another family in her life post her marriage, apart from her parents. For so many years, she has lived with her parents, and if suddenly one fine day if she has to leave her home and get into another place, it would obviously be difficult to acclimatise immediately. However, this should not be an excuse for picking up fights with people in the family. So why do these fights happen? It is because one thinks inferior of the other and hence, automatically a rift is being created. This is the root cause of all problems that happen at various homes and families. This is exactly where Yudishtra wants to be careful here – Even though he might be enemies with Duryodhana and Co., Yudishtra takes a pledge to treat Duryodhana also as his dear brothers, equal to his other Paandava brothers. Thus, Yudishtra is of the opinion that if he showers love and affection towards Duryodhana, somehow he would change and ultimately peace would reign in the family. This is why Yudishtra is taking the pledge that he wouldn’t create any rift between himself and the others. 

Moreover, Yudishtra takes the third pledge here – He would neither fight with anyone, nor be a cause of a fight between people. This is, of course, a continuation of the previous pledge here. Readers might think here for a moment – When does a fight arise? Why do people fight? People start fighting because of the rift that they create within themselves. People start fighting because they proclaim things to be theirs’! The moment we start putting our claim on something or someone, immediately fights would start! This is the root cause even for big wars that happen around the world, isn’t it? Even within our home, nowadays, each person within the family wants “privacy” and takes up an entire room inside the house, just for themselves! Nobody else inside the family, even parents would be allowed to enter that room unnecessarily, and if at all someone enters, a big fight breaks out! Now what’s happening here? We lack the basic understanding that nothing is ours in this world! Everything is Bhagawan’s, and it is Bhagawan who has given us this opportunity to live in a luxurious apartment. If we have this mentality, we would first stop demanding “privacy” at home. The moment we stop demanding “privacy”, we would automatically stop creating rifts between our own family members. Once the rift is gone, there would be no fights at home! This is the secret behind establishing love and happiness at home. 

For this, we should develop the realisation that all whatever we possess today is of Bhagawan’s and we should be indebted to Him for keeping us comfortable inside a luxurious house, at a time when thousands of other people are suffering without a home and without three meals a day. If we look around and see many people suffering, automatically we would start thanking Bhagawan for whatever we have with us, rather than keep on running behind money, name and fame every time. So for today, let us understand these two important pledges that Yudishtra is taking and let us also try and follow these in our day-to-day lives as well. Of course, as mentioned earlier, we might not be able to achieve 100%, but we can always try and put conscious effort towards achieving this. The more we let go off our possessions, the happier we can be in life. Hence, let us consciously follow this as we wait for the next episode to continue this discussion forward! Stay tuned! 🙂

Published by Dr. Jeayaram

Holds a PhD in Management Psychology from Universite Paris Saclay, Paris, France. Also an Asst. Professor of Human Resources management at Bharatidhasan Institute of Management (BIM) Trichy, India A professional South Indian classical musician (singer) performing concerts. Through this blog, I'm trying to bring out the richness of Indian culture & values and I request your support and feedbacks in making this humble effort a success!!

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