Episode # 185 – “Verbal abuse” has far more damaging repercussions than “physical abuse” – Sage Sukhaachaarya explains!!!

Little Krishna

In the previous episode, we had witnessed an extended discussion on the last two important aspects of “Dharma”, which Sage Sukhaachaarya had emphasized upon, to commence the discussion – “Shamaha” and “Damaha”. These two aspects directly pertain to controlling our external and internal senses. Of course, the external senses can be controlled to a certain extent, owing to certain ways and means that we follow for ourselves voluntarily. But the problem comes with how we control our internal sense, which is nothing but our mind. This is where Bhagawan Krishna Himself says in the Bhagawad Gita that our mind can both be a friend as well as an enemy to us. That is, if we’re able to practice total detachment from worldly objects and pleasures, our mind can be the best friend and it would aid us in our spiritual progress. On the other hand, if we’re going to have all sorts of attachment towards worldly pleasures and objects, we’re going to deviate from the path laid by Bhagawan, and thus are getting carried away with the whims and fancies of the “Maya” (Illusion). In this case, our mind is going to be our biggest enemy. This is why Sage Sukhaachaarya also lays lot of emphasis on our internal control of our senses.

So thus, we’ve witnessed eight important aspects of “Dharma” that Sage Sukhaachaarya is talking about here, namely, “Satyam”, “Dayaa”, “Tapaha”, “Shoucham”, “Tithiksha”, “Eksha”, Shamaha” and “Damaha”. Now moving on with the ninth aspect of “Dharma”, which is being spoken about here, Sage Sukhaachaarya is now emphasizing on “Ahimsa”. This is an important aspect of “Dharma” which all of us need to look into here – When we talk about “Ahimsa”, we would immediately remember our great freedom fighter, Mahatma Gandhiji. He is one person who can be considered as an epitome of this quality called “Ahimsa” or “Non-violence”. Thus, “Ahimsa” simply means that we shouldn’t hurt anybody or any living being in this world. Although it seems vague at this point, we need a little bit of a microscopic look here. When we talk about “hurting”, it doesn’t stop with physically hurting someone or any living being. It extends to the point of hurting people verbally, by thought and by any other sort of action too. In the normal present day, we might even restrain ourselves from physically beating up or hurting someone with a stick or whatever. Atleast, as ardent followers of our “Sanaathana Dharma”, we would score 100% in this point. There are of course few religions that primarily focuses on physical hurting, and we can thank Bhagawan that we’re fortunate enough to not have taken birth amidst such barbaric people. Thus, as proud Hindus, we can be rest assured that we do not physically hurt others much. But what about hurting or abusing others verbally and mentally? This is where we should focus on at the moment and we should realize that abusing others verbally and mentally is even more powerful than physical hurting.

Let us witness a small example here – For instance, we’re going for a marriage function of our close relative and we work tirelessly for the 2 or 3 days of the function. At the fag end of the function, due to some reason, we might get provoked by somebody who’s talking ill about us! Now what would we do? Our ego would take over at this stage, and we would ask back immediately thus, “Oh! How can you scold me like this, just for a small mistake of mine? I’ve worked tirelessly and now you don’t respect me for whatever I’ve contributed!” Immediately the ego of the other person would rise up, and he / she would shout back at us thus, “Oh! Who asked you to come here and do all the work? If we would have known your short-sightedness and cheap behavior before, we wouldn’t have encouraged you to do all this!” Thus, this argument would blast into a fully blown fight and at the end of the day, whatever good work that we might have done for the past 2-3 days, would be totally washed away within just few minutes!

From this instance, what do we understand? Verbal abuse and / or mental abuse is much more powerful than physical abuse! Thus, the point here is that, if we have to score 100% on “Ahimsa”, we should make sure that we’re refraining ourselves both from physical and verbal abuse. In fact, this is where we lose out even in our family life too. If we’re going to look only at the negatives of people and are going to pick up fights for small issues within the family, there is never going to be an end for all of this! We should have the basic understanding in life that not all human beings are perfect in nature. Having said thus, we should also understand that even we might not be perfect in all what we do. We should ask ourselves thus, “Given that we’re an expert in pointing out at others’ faults every time in a public forum, how much time is it going to take for the same people to point out our faults in the same public forum?” If we ask this question seriously within ourselves, we would start realizing the folly that we’re committing.

Of course, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t point out others’ mistakes at all. We should do it, but in a way that it would serve as an opportunity for them to correct themselves. All what I’m trying to say here is that, we should not point out the mistakes of a person in such a way that it would be insulting or abusing him or her in any way. So for today, let us realize the significance of this important aspect of “Dharma”, which is nothing but “Ahimsa”. The next important aspect of “Dharma” which Sage Sukhaachaarya is going to explain, is about “Brahmacharya”. An important discussion awaits us, with respect to this “Brahmacharya”, in the next episode! Stay tuned! 😊

 

Published by Dr. Jeayaram

Holds a PhD in Management Psychology from Universite Paris Saclay, Paris, France. Also an Asst. Professor of Human Resources management at Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham in Kerala, India. A professional South Indian classical musician (singer) performing concerts. Through this blog, I'm trying to bring out the richness of Indian culture & values and I request your support and feedbacks in making this humble effort a success!!

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