Episode # 275 – “We should never get angry with our aged and/or disabled parents or elders” – Vidura’s key message!!!


In the previous episode we had witnessed yet another important point from Vidura Neeti’s last segment of the 38’th Adhyaaya wherein he says that there is no use in blaming Bhagawan for our wrongdoings. All of us have this habit imbibed in us – Whenever we face tough situations in life, we immediately put the blame on Bhagawan for all the mess that we are in. Little do we realize that at most of the instances we are solely responsible for the mess that we create for ourself! If that is the case, what is the point in blaming Bhagawan for the mess that we create? Moreover, if we undergo a “golden” happy phase in our life, do we have the intention to thank Bhagawan for that golden period of happiness? Many a times we don’t! When we go through a happy phase in life, we hardly even think of Bhagawan! Hence such extremes should not happen in our life. Over the years, we’ve unfortunately built a habit around ourselves that it is only when we have problems in life, we go to Bhagawan, and not when we’re happy! This attitude should change in all of us – We should try to have a balanced outlook towards life and thank Bhagawan every day for all what He has given us.

Now moving on further with the second half of the sloka, Vidura explains thus:

“Niyantavyaah sadaah krodaah vriddha baalaatureshu!!”

Here Vidura explains that we should not get angry with young and small children and also towards aged people. Moreover, Vidura also adds a point here that we should not get angry on those people who are sick with some disease. This is an extremely point to discuss – For instance if our own parents start to get sick due to their old age, we need to make sure that we deal with them patiently. As all of us know and understand by now, it is our bound duty to take care of our parents at their old age. Of course there might be situations for few people wherein their parents become either bed-ridden or become unable to move from one place to the other owing to various physical ailments. Given this inability, obviously our parents will call us for help. At this time, do we get angry or frustrated with them? Sadly today, many of us get irritated if our parents are calling us for help every now and then! We should remember one thing clearly – When we were children, we used to cry for anything and everything in life and it was our parents who attended to each and every cry of ours! Did they ever get angry with us at that time? Every time we cried for something, our parents ensured that our needs were satisfied by hook or crook. Hence, what moral right do we have to get irritated when our parents cry out for us? In fact, we should be more than ready to respond to their desperate calls to be with us and this is our fundamental duty in our life, more than anything else. We should think for a moment – If our parents haven’t struggled in the past, would we be in the position what we are in today? The moment this thought sinks inside us, we would automatically render our heart-felt services to our parents with tears in our eyes. Thus the point here is that, rather than getting angry on our parents, we should understand that it is only because of their inability that they’re wanting our presence and help. We should also understand that no parent in this world would like to see their son or daughter struggle and slog because of them. Hence we need to understand this important point and render our involved selfless service to our parents at all times.

Moreover, it is also important that we should never go “empty-handed” while we meet elderly people or “Mahatmas” or “Gurus” (Spiritual Masters). We should always take something with us – like couple of bananas, or some other fruits, flowers or something that would be of acceptance according to the principles of our “Sanaathana Dharma”. The same thing applies when we go to a temple too. Whatever maybe the deity, we should never go empty-handed to worship Bhagawan. We should atleast take some “Tulasi” leaves, or a garland made of flowers, or some fruits, or whatever, while we enter inside a temple. This is also a very important thing that we need to note in our regular day-to-day life. Many a times, when we go to the temple, the priest might ask us for the things that we had bought to offer at Bhagawan’s feet! It is only then we would remember that we have totally forgot about it, or we might not even have thought of something like that! Such things should never happen. We should always make sure that we buy atleast two bananas or a bunch of flowers when we enter a temple, so as to make an offering to Bhagawan.

Also nowadays, there is a new trend picking up in many places of worship – When the “Prasad” (Food that is offered to Bhagawan and then distributed to devotees in the temple) is being distributed, many people have this habit of collecting this “Prasad” in a piece of paper and not in our hands! The reason why this is done is that, the food contains lot of oil or ghee in it, and this oil or ghee should not stick to our hands! Of course in many of today’s temples, we have proper and adequate facilities for washing our hands with adequate amount of water. If this is the case, why should we introduce a foreign object called “paper” in between? Why can’t we receive the divine “Prasad” in our hands? Already our hands are polluted so much with innumerable amount of sins that we keep doing every day and it is only by receiving the divine “Prasad” in our hands, our sins get washed away! If we’re trying to use a paper cup or whatever to receive the “Prasad”, then there’s no way that our sins are going to washed away! Hence we should note that such practices should also be stopped.

Thus for today let us ponder over these two important points and we shall wait till the next episode to continue with Vidura’s next important point of mention. Stay tuned! 🙂

Published by Dr. Jeayaram

Holds a PhD in Management Psychology from Universite Paris Saclay, Paris, France. Also an Asst. Professor of Human Resources management at Bharatidhasan Institute of Management (BIM) Trichy, India A professional South Indian classical musician (singer) performing concerts. Through this blog, I'm trying to bring out the richness of Indian culture & values and I request your support and feedbacks in making this humble effort a success!!

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